Week 43: Eagle Eye

Get it?
MPAA#: 44704
Showtime: 9:35
Ticket price: 10.99
Seat: lower right
Shotgun: none
Attendance: about 15
Weather: rain
Food: V8 and popcorn
Expectations: low
Met?: yes
Pre-show ads: Toyota, Telus
Trailers: Body of Lies, Valkyrie, The Soloist, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Review:

Friends, illiteracy is a tragedy that reaches into every walk of life, affecting people of every race and background, rich and poor alike. It is a plague that takes many forms:

1) cultural illiteracy refers to a lack of knowledge of one’s own culture and others; a person writing a film script, for example, might wish to study previous films that employed the same ideas and understand what people liked about them. Only the most literate and imaginative screenwriter should attempt to combine elements from movies like WarGames, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, and The Net– I certainly cannot imagine how such a combination could ever work.

2) technical illiteracy is a growing condition signified by a lack of understanding of common technologies used in day to day life, such as computers, wireless networks, cellular phones, heavy equipment, trains, buses, cars, VCRs, and so on. For example, if a screenwriter were going to imbue a single computer system with what can only be described as impossible artificial intelligence plus complete control over every kind of technology, one wonders why the screenwriter did not simply choose a more plausible concept, like magical elves.

3) functional illiteracy is the most common and pervasive type. Its sufferers may be unable to read, write, or perform simple computations. The consequences can be serious, leading to construction site accidents or, for example, an actor selecting scripts he cannot actually read or understand.

Here at Sunday Night in Cinema 3, we believe in putting our money where our mouth is. That’s why we have created a donation page to the ABC Canada Literacy Foundation, an award-winning charity that works hard to counter the kind of issues that affect so many lives and unfortunately lead to the creation of movies like Eagle Eye. Please visit the page today and give until it hurts.

Please.

Crowd reaction at end of movie: none.
Credit cookie?: no.
For further consideration: what did I ever do to you, Shia LeBoeuf? Apart from just now, I mean.
Opening next week: The Haunting of Molly Hartley, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Splinter, The Other End of the Line
Hoping for: Zack and Miri Make a Porno

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About Scott M

www.potzrebie.com
This entry was posted in Movies. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Week 43: Eagle Eye

  1. Jay says:

    LOL! Awesome review. Can’t… breathe. 🙂

  2. John says:

    This is the same issue that causes every Asian woman in a movie to be impossibly beautiful, impossibly good with computers, and a kick-ass martial artist.

    Illiteracy must be stopped– or at lease avenged!

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